Nigerascality by Salu Ayoola

Prof Wole Soyinka would have been a minion if he had been a youngster during this dispensation because of the dramatic grammatical expressions that swells up our dictionary today. Michael West by now should be so envious of our facebook English professors in his grave
Try these for size
Executive rascality -Used to describe our executive arm of government when they refused to obey court orders or follow the rule of law
Judicial rascality – When the judiciary gives weird judgments
Legislative rascality – When our law makers turn the hallowed chambers to boxing arena
Executhieves- Portrays the massive corrupt members of the executive arm
Legislooters- Members of house of assembly who sit on constituency project funds and allocate fat salaries and bonuses to themselves
Judiciacheats- Members of the judiciary responsible for miscarriage of justice
Citizen rascality – When citizens queue and vote for the sake of nothing,carry arms kill themselves over nothing in the name of ethnicity,religion or just for the sake of it
Stomach infrastructure – Where citizens are given rice,groundnut oil and other food items to secure their votes regardless of the character of the contestants
Budget padding – This simply means inflating budget proposal with the aim of cornering the excess
Restructuring – Just as meaningless as it sounds.What are you restructuring, it’s just a term used to make yourself relevant and heard
Hate speech – When you call your country zoo and fellow human beings cow
All these coinages are just because of a single reason –“WE HAVE ELECTED HYENAS TO TAKE CARE OF GOATS AND GOATS TO TAKE CARE OF YAMS”
We have mortgaged our future and generations yet unborn. I have been thinking if no one living now witnessed 1979-83. We never learn
If your phone is behaving funny you simply flash it,that is restoring factory settings.
I am not APC or PDP but I desire the best for Nigeria
-salu Ayoola PH

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Samuel Edward

Editor at Africa Update